Travelling with PMDD

For as long as I can remember, I’ve turned into an absolute demon in the 10 days leading up to my period.

I’ve been plagued with dreadful, earth-shattering, unfathomable thoughts that have made me feel like my entire world was falling apart, from the inside out. I’ve screamed and shouted and cried at people, knowing my thoughts and feelings are totally irrational but still not being able to stop them anyway.

Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) is characterised by intense feelings of anxiety, anger, and depression in the week-to-fortnight prior to getting your period. It’s PMS on steroids. Really, really strong steroids.

It is estimated that anywhere between 3-8% of women suffer from the disorder, though the number of women who experience PMDD symptoms without a formal diagnosis could be as high as 13-18%.

It wasn’t until listening to this episode of All in the Mind podcast around six months ago that I realised that what I had been experiencing every single month of my life for the last 12 years wasn’t actually… normal.

Understanding what is actually going on in my brain has made things a whole lot easier to deal with. PMDD can affect you for up to two weeks per month… so literally half of your life. Understanding that you don’t just have an angry, hateful personality but rather, an actual disorder that impacts your day-to-day life experience is both validating and liberating.

But still, mixing PMDD with long-term travel and trying to start and maintain successful business with your partner? Sounds like a recipe for disaster. We’ve been through three cycles since coming away, and here’s how we’re learning to deal with PMDD in our new reality.

Managing PMDD While Travelling: The Lessons I’ve Learned.

Tip 1: You can’t girlboss your way through your luteal phase

Whew… this is a hard one.

Like many during their luteal phase, I seriously lack self-motivation. I want to sit on the sofa, curled up in a blanket watching Classic Coronation Street, ordering bánh mì after bánh mì and letting my to-do list spiral out of control.

But now, we’re first-time business owners. Our success and income rely entirely on us getting our heads down and cracking on. Giving in to those urges is out of the question.

I am extremely lucky to have a partner (and business partner) who understands what I’m going through and is very patient with me, but that doesn’t stop the feelings of guilt - which are exacerbated by my PMDD brain, of course - when I struggle to drag myself to my laptop.

Our favourite strategy so far? Slow and steady. We break up the day into manageable chunks, going for brain-refresh walks to blow the cobwebs away, and appreciating that some work is better than no work.

Side note: I tend to save all of my favourite work for my luteal phase. The stuff I really want to write, so it doesn’t feel too much like hard graft. I also like to use this time to get the admin tasks done. The stuff that really needs doing but doesn’t demand a whole heap of energy.

But equally, I know that the week before my period is not the time to push myself. It’s a time when my brain is so much more prone to burnout, which will eventually lead to disinterest in the business, which will eventually lead to its failure. That’s the real danger.

So the advice here is simple: listen to your body. Travelling is intense. Travelling with a partner? Super intense. Traveling with a partner whilst suffering through PMDD? Off-the-scale madness. Don’t push it harder than your body can handle. Nothing is more urgent than your health.

Tip 2: Name it to tame it works

Allow me to introduce you to Pearl: the Premenstrual Monster.

Pearl started out as a bit of a joke. She’s what Ramiro calls me when I descend into an insufferable, angry crybaby, without explicitly saying ‘Do you think you could be due on?’ (because we all know how that conversation ends…).

But oddly enough, she’s become a genuinely helpful metaphor. Pearl reminds me that I’m not a terrible person, but a mere victim of a monthly hormone hijacking.

Obviously I’m not suggesting that everyone goes around giving a literal name to their pre-period alter-egos, but even just saying out loud ‘I’m due on my period and I’m acting this way because I’m struggling with PMDD’ can feel very grounding, and can help you take back control.

Bonus 'Name It To Tame It' tip: PMDD Journaling

Another technique in the ‘name it to tame it’ space, that has really helped me to get a hold on my own thoughts, is writing everything down. Not a revolutionary idea, I know. But stay with me.

Keeping a journal of all my out-of-character thoughts, then revisiting them after my period arrives is a great way of identifying which thoughts were irrational at the time. If it still feels like a problem after Pearl has gone back into her cave, then it’s a thought that needs addressing.

Tip 3: Lay off the booze… and anything else that’s going to make you sad

Historically, backpacking (particularly around South East Asia) has been associated with a heavy drinking culture. From the free shots handed out at hostels to the infamous cocktail buckets served on the beaches of Koh Phi Phi, cheap alcohol is never too hard to come by.

Being the proud author of Roasts and Toasts, I actually consider beer to be my favourite hobby. I travel the world in the context of beer: tasting the local brew and trying out new styles or experimental flavours.

But I’m also acutely aware of the impact any amount of alcohol can have on my brain. Mix that with a disorder that is literally known for distorting your perception of reality… it’s not going to end well.

Alcohol is one on an ever-growing list of things I aim to avoid just prior to my period. As I learn more about the way PMDD affects my body and my brain, the more I’m able to identify exactly what I need (and need to avoid) during my luteal phase.

So far, my pre-period PMDD no-go list looks like this:

• Alcohol
• Refined sugar
• Too much caffeine (a cup of coffee a day is usually okay). Nothing surprising, but all my favourite vices, so it’s good to be on top of.

Rami’s Words of Wisdom: Tips for PMDD Partners

In a nutshell: just be patient.

When I asked Ramiro what his tips would be to the partners of PMDD sufferers, his answer was characteristically saintly.

As I mentioned previously, the three cycles we’ve had since coming away have involved a lot of trial and error, and finding ways to make unfamiliar places feel more PMDD-friendly.

“For us, talking works, but I can see why it might not be the same for other couples,” he said.

“I can see why maybe they’d feel like they need a little bit of time away from each other, even if it’s just a quick walk or an hour in the gym. That’s not the case for us and that’s okay, but it’s all about communication. Figuring out what works best for you as a couple and as individuals. The best results come from the hard conversations.”

If you’re struggling with PMDD while travelling, there are a number of resources available that can help you to understand more about what’s happening in your brain and your body.

My biggest piece of advice, and a recurrent theme through this piece, is to make a concerted effort to get to know yourself. What makes you feel good? What makes you feel bad? What habit can you add to your routine that’s going to make your life a little bit easier?

Travelling with PMDD isn’t easy. But rest assured, it’s doable.

Do you have any tips for dealing with PMDD, or PMS symptoms whilst on the road? Drop us a comment or shoot us a DM.

As always, thanks for being here with us.

All our love

Eloise & Ramiro Xxx Da Nang, Central Vietnam